Dealing with Sports-Related Anxiety in Kids: A Parent’s Guide

What Causes Sports-Related Anxiety?

While some nerves before a game or competition are normal, ongoing anxiety can become a problem. Here are some common reasons why kids experience sports-related anxiety:

Fear of Failure – Kids may feel pressure to perform perfectly or worry about disappointing their coach, teammates, or parents.

Performance Expectations – High expectations (either self-imposed or from others) can make kids feel overwhelmed and afraid of making mistakes.

Social Pressure – Team sports can involve social dynamics where kids may fear letting their teammates down or being judged.

Fear of Embarrassment – A missed shot, a failed play, or a public mistake can be stressful, especially if kids feel that others are watching and judging them.

Parental or Coach Pressure – Some kids may feel stressed when parents or coaches place too much emphasis on winning instead of enjoying the game.

Burnout & Overtraining – When kids are involved in too many practices, games, and tournaments without enough rest, they may experience exhaustion and anxiety.

Signs of Sports-Related Anxiety in Kids

Not all kids will openly express their anxiety, so it’s important to look out for physical, emotional, and behavioral signs.

Physical Signs

Stomach aches or nausea before games
Headaches or muscle tension
Trouble sleeping the night before a game
Shortness of breath or rapid heart rate

Emotional Signs

Negative self-talk (“I’m going to mess up.”)
Mood swings, irritability, or frequent crying
Lack of confidence or self-doubt
Frustration or anger over mistakes

Behavioral Signs

Avoiding games, practices, or suddenly wanting to quit sports
Procrastinating or making excuses to skip training
Becoming overly quiet or withdrawn before a game
Arguing with teammates, coaches, or parents due to frustration

If a child regularly shows these signs, it’s time to step in and offer support.

How to Help Kids Manage Sports-Related Anxiety

The good news is that with the right strategies, kids can overcome sports anxiety and learn to enjoy the game again. Here’s how parents and coaches can help:

Shift the Focus from Winning to Fun

Instead of putting all the emphasis on winning or performing perfectly, remind kids that sports are about having fun, learning new skills, and being part of a team.

Encourage effort and improvement, rather than just results.
Praise their dedication, teamwork, and sportsmanship, not just their performance.
Remind them that mistakes are normal and part of learning.

Example: Instead of saying, “You have to score today,” say, “Go out there, do your best, and have fun!”

Teach Relaxation Techniques

Helping kids manage pre-game nerves can make a big difference. Try these relaxation techniques:

Deep Breathing – Teach kids to take slow, deep breaths before a game to calm their nerves.
Visualization – Encourage kids to picture themselves playing confidently and successfully before they step onto the field.
Stretching & Movement – Simple warm-up exercises can release tension and help kids feel ready.

Tip: If your child gets anxious before a game, have them do 5 deep belly breaths and shake out their arms and legs to release nervous energy.

Help Them Set Realistic Goals

Sometimes, kids feel anxious because they put too much pressure on themselves to be the best. Help them set small, achievable goals to build confidence.

Instead of “I have to win,” set a goal like:
“I will give my best effort.”
“I will support my teammates.”
“I will focus on one play at a time.”

Why it works: When kids focus on things they can control (effort, teamwork, attitude), they feel less stressed and more in control of their game.

Keep the Sports Environment Positive

A positive sports environment reduces stress and builds confidence. Here’s how parents and coaches can help:

Encourage open communication – Let kids express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment.
Cheer for effort, not just results – Applaud kids for trying their best, even if they don’t win.
Keep feedback constructive – Avoid harsh criticism. Instead, offer gentle corrections and encouragement.

Example: Instead of saying, “You should have scored that goal,” try, “That was a great shot! Keep practicing, and you’ll get it next time.”

Normalize Mistakes & Failure

Many kids fear failure because they see it as a bad thing. Teach them that mistakes are a normal and necessary part of improving.

Share stories of famous athletes who failed before they succeeded.
Let them see you make mistakes too—and how you handle them positively.
Remind them that every mistake is a lesson that helps them grow.

Example: “Did you know Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team? He used that experience to work harder and become one of the greatest players ever!”

Ensure They Get Enough Rest & Balance

Overtraining and too much pressure can lead to burnout and anxiety. Make sure your child has a balance of sports, school, and rest.

Avoid scheduling too many games or intense training sessions back-to-back.
Make sure they get enough sleep and recovery time.
Encourage other hobbies and free play to prevent burnout.

Lead by Example

Kids often mirror their parents’ and coaches’ attitudes toward sports. If they see you staying positive, handling stress well, and encouraging a balanced perspective, they are more likely to adopt the same mindset.

Avoid yelling at referees, blaming losses on teammates, or showing frustration.
Show good sportsmanship by cheering for all kids—not just your own.
Manage your own emotions so they learn how to handle pressure effectively.

Tip: If your child sees you staying calm and positive after a loss, they will learn to do the same.

Final Thoughts

Sports should be a positive, confidence-building experience for kids, not a source of anxiety. By focusing on fun, effort, and self-improvement, parents and coaches can help children develop a healthy mindset and enjoy sports for a lifetime.

Remember: It’s not about creating perfect athletes—it’s about raising happy, resilient, and confident kids who love to play.